one week of arlo.

“it’ll be different with your second.”

The first time I heard that statement was directly after a 42 hour labour with Wes. I remember thinking “What the fuck? Does that mean he dug his way out for the rest of our kids?” All I know is that it didn’t feel like it was a compliment and it didn’t feel overly reassuring.

I was induced with Wes. It took days. With Arlo, the possibility of him arriving early barely registered. I was too busy. We hadn’t gotten our baby things out of storage yet. We hadn’t thought of names beyond the ones remaining on the list from 15 months prior when we had to name Wes. The list of things left to do is infinite. There was three hours between the time we called an ambulance to the time Arlo was delivered. It was a stark contrast from our first experience.

Though he arrived fast and furiously, his demeanour does not reflect that urgency. He has a mild temperament but I have seen glimpses of mischief in his cheeky smiles while he dreams.

nicu parenting.

Bayne and I are slowly finding our groove here in NICU South at the IWK in Halifax, Nova Scotia. The new NICU is hands down one of the finest facilities of it’s kind and what’s more: it exists because of donor dollars. Neat, right?!

I’ve been calling Arlo’s room “The Caboose” as it has sort of a train car vibe with its sliding panel doors and functional space for us to use with a full bathroom and a double pull out sofa. We brought our camping pad from MEC and it’s been a brilliant life hack for us. Somehow the days seem to get away from us quickly. Time doesn’t exist in here. There are no windows in our room so it’s hard to regulate. We have weird hours. Bayne is still in the midst of completing his Engineering degree and I’m trying to keep up a milk supply and recover from surgery. Somedays we get up at 4:30 am for the day and others are later. It’s strange.

“I hope you burn your nipples on that pump.”

Arlo has been taken care of by some incredible nurses. They have helped make our days here a bit easier to manage and have been holding our hands through all of this.

Unlike when we delivered Wes, just under a year ago, we cannot have visitors. Masks make it difficult to foster connections with others. Restrictions make gathering in a common area impossible. It’s a stark contrast from when we had Wes. We had visitors in the hospital, visitors at home, pictures of Wes and his family who were able to meet him only hours after his birth. Arlo has met three members of his family. Three. The two of us and my sister, Lexie.

Bayne and I have our moments in The Caboose. Most of them are good and the moments that aren’t are usually a result of being hangry. We got into an argument that ended in Bayne telling me “I hope you burn your nipples on that pump” which sparked laughter and ended the argument quickly. Any situation can be made more difficult when you have limited personal space. Conversely, when you can’t go anywhere and you can’t see anyone else, you tend to lean harder on each other, and we do. Bayne is resilient and supportive. He fills the gaps, gives the best hugs and keeps the snacks coming.

health and hard stuff.

Arlo is gaining weight but has yet to reach his birth weight. He’s tolerating his feeds exceptionally well and even latched for the first time which is an enormous step for his gestational age. His bilirubin levels are beginning to plateau which will mean he can eliminate light therapy. Beyond that, he’s a healthy baby that just needs to grow. He’s our little plant and I’m photosynthesis.

Many of our encounters with other parents here remind us how fortunate we are to have delivered a healthy baby. We have talked to families who were in the thick of loss and others who had babies in surgery and were waiting on pins and needles to get results. It punches you in the gut each time. We hear LifeFlight landing a few times a day which is rarely a good sign. It makes us snuggle a little longer and hold each other a lot tighter. Life can be cruel.

where’s wes?

Wes is hitting the playground daily and throwing all the rocks in all the puddles with his grandparents. He’s going to be disappointed to have us back, I think. Our parents are bringing him to Halifax for the weekend so we’ll be able to soak up his belly laughs for a few days. We FaceTime with him but he loses interest pretty quickly. I’m not sure if you’ve ever FaceTimed with a toddler but I’d liken it to FaceTiming your friend in Calgary while waiting for after bar food on Pizza Corner; it’s all over the place because you’re still a bit wobbly and your attention span is non-existent but yah miss them so damn much you just want them to be there, too! I can’t believe I’m saying this but I miss watching The Wiggles at 5:30am with the little mullet rocking babe!

one week.

It’s come and gone quickly. I feel like I’ve lost all concept of time but at the same time, it’s been a beautiful week. I’m beginning to feel quite a bit better but I’m anxious to transition into our life as a family of four in the coming weeks.

We have been receiving a boatload of kind words. It’s overwhelming and I find it hard to respond to everyone but the words are what helps most! We certainly feel the love!