introducing arlo grace horton.
Bayne and I knew we wanted to have our kids close in age if we could. We wanted Wes to have a companion and his little brother wanted to join him as soon as he could. We managed to get pregnant quickly but our newest decided to come even earlier. Ten weeks sooner than expected, to be exact. 2020 has been a whirlwind for most people but our house got hit really hard between Bayne’s incident at the end of September, moving to another province, chasing a toddler and now a premie in the mix. Can we just frig off already?!
Despite it all, I’m outnumbered by a lot of testosterone in the house now but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
due date: january 18, 2021
Arrived: Friday, November 13, 2020 at 1:10am
measuring 3lb 2oz, 17in
I began experiencing signs of labour on Monday. I spent the night at St Martha’s Hospital where a dream team managed to stabilize me and stop my contractions. Though things had slowed, I was sent to the IWK as a precaution. After another two nights at the IWK, I was released and was able to get home to Wes. We got to pick him up, snuggle the heck out of him and play him out until he fell asleep with us. No sooner had I put him down in his crib for the night had the bleeding started. At the advice of my midwife, EHS was phoned and we patiently waited for them to arrive.
As EHS arrived, things ramped up. It’s as if my body let me stay calm until it knew it was in better hands so it could fully lose it’s shit. I haven’t talked a lot about our move home but there is something to be said for truly knowing the faces that are taking care of you, crisis or not. Personally knowing my ambulance team added another level of calm and care to our situation. I’ve made the drive from Guysborough to Antigonish thousands of times in my life but it seemed a lot longer during painful contractions. That said, the ambulance felt like a Corvette Stingray with “DARE U” plates on it and I know my girl gang, Kelsey & Lesley made the best time they could! When I arrived at the hospital, I was relieved to see my OB Dr Marshall and a few of my favourite nurses including two super special ones, Lindsay & Kate (I quite honestly wouldn’t have gotten through the night without either of you and I owe you both thousands of hugs for being so strong for us and carrying us through. You two are angels and are exceptional at what you do. I have nothing but the maddest love and respect for you.) Things spiralled quickly in a matter of what seemed like a few minutes. It didn’t take our care team long to determine that I would require emergency surgery and the room started spinning from there. Up until that point, I hadn’t considered this to be an option but here we were - one option was open and that option was life.
A quick roll down the longest hallway in the hospital where I would be met by more familiar faces (Kelli & Chrissy <3 knowing you two were there made things so so so much easier for me) who would be joining my care team and who would assist in our delivery. I’ve never gone “under the knife” before and when you don’t have much to go by, you can either be scared shitless of general anaesthetic or let a lot of people hold your hands through it and that’s what I got to do. I remember familiar voices blurring out, lights getting brighter, purple somehow, and a weird feeling taking over my arms and chest until I woke up what only felt like mere minutes later to find out that I had survived and more than that, we had a new son who screamed his way into this world with a ferocious will to live.
Arlo would be airlifted to the IWK soon after his arrival. We got a quick snuggle in before he left. I think it’s pretty cool that he got to go in a helicopter - I’m 30 and have yet to do that!
So, what’s in a name?
When we were pregnant with Wes, we had only chosen four names. Wes is named after two of his great-grandfathers. That left three names on our list. We didn’t consult books or more family names, we just went with our gut. Arlo really came out of nowhere for us but we both loved it. We had binged an entire show while in the IWK earlier in the week and a character on it was named Arlo so it almost seemed like a sign. I think we named him before he left with LifeFlight but we only had a first name picked. Middle names are hard. As Bayne and I tossed around a few, we started thinking about music. What musicians did we like? What songs always had a place in our hearts? I have the title of my favourite “Hip” song tattooed on my left wrist. I seared it into my skin years ago, kind of like the scar Arlo’s birth will leave on my belly for the rest of my life.
armed with will and determination
and grace, too.
“What about Grace?” I ask Bayne. Without hesitation, he said “I love it.”
Our Arlo is armed with will and determination and grace, too. It fit. Yes, Grace is often used as a more feminine name but we aren’t super concerned with tradition, after all, we are doing this whole “life” thing backwards (move in, have baby, go to school, have another baby - no house, no marriage, none of that conventional shit lol)
My care has been transferred from the “Dream Team” at St Martha’s to the IWK. I’m happily snuggled up with two out of three of my guys while Wes hangs out with his grandparents. We know he’s in good hands and he’ll barely skip a beat but we can’t wait for him to meet his little brother. They are 15 months minus one day apart in age. We can’t wait to watch their bond unfold.
How am I?
Postpartum is no joke. NICU parenting is no joke. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do besides being away from our Wes, too.
My hair is messy. I’m literally cut in half, bleeding and I have milk leaking out unexpectedly. I’m unshowered and I’m about half Tylenol/half hospital food. This is postpartum.
My body is trying to heal itself and trying to nourish someone else. It’s working double time when it barely has the energy to work at 30% capacity. The painkillers don’t seem to touch the tender parts. The pump makes me feel like I should be getting compensated by Scotsburn Dairy. Complaints aside though, how fucking cool are women? How do our bodies create a tiny human, nourish them and heal ourselves at the same time? It’s insane. We are the description of a superhero though I hardly feel like one. I know aspects of this get easier. I’ve been here before but these days are hard and they are meant to be documented and shared and not sugarcoated. Birth is no joke. Even “easy” ones. We do NOT walk out of the hospital looking like Megan Markel, mere hours after birth with our shit together. Birth is painful, messy and traumatic - don’t let anyone tell you differently. If they do, get new friends.
We can’t say thank you enough.
To our Health Care Providers, our massive family network, our friends, and all of our supporters, I don’t know where to begin. It truly takes a village to raise a child and our village is lifting this family up high. This has never been more clear for us. We are truly grateful for all of the messages we have received and they are getting us through this wild time. Though moving home was unexpected, it has enabled us to be so much closer to those we need right now. Our small town network is amazing.
To Bayne: I couldn’t have made these babies without you. You are the type of dad I always knew you would be from the day I met you; hands-on, goofy and so full of love for our boys. You are our protector; fierce and forever.
To our parents: Thank you for taking over for us. We know Wes is in the best of hands - I mean, you kept us alive so I guess we trust you. Kidding - we know he loves being with all of you. We wouldn’t be able to be here together without you and are able to sleep better knowing he’s with you all.
To Lexie: Our personal nurse-in-training. Thank you for dropping everything to be there for us, on this night and always. We love you more than you’ll ever know.
An enormous shoutout to the Highland Community Midwives. Their team has given me the support I needed over the past few weeks and continue to support me through the unexpected process of delivering early, even from a far. They’ve also helped bridge the gap and have outsourced the help from local midwife, Jessica to check in on us! We couldn’t be in better hands.
Big love goes to the Open Arms Clinic, too! Lisa and Colleen: you are the reason my breastfeeding journey went so well with Wes. You’re the reason I chose to feed Arlo the same way. Thank you for the pump and thank you for the new bra design, Colleen ;) (see photo above.)
Arlo has two dedicated nurses at all times. I literally shit bricks thinking about their job. It almost makes me nauseous to pick him up and they do it with such finesse and ease - they are truly angels.